He took her!

It has been 11 days now without the love of my life. Today I went for a run and cried and cried. Running without her is not the same. I keep wanting to look over to my side and see her there and she is not. I look up into the sky because she told me that she would be looking down and I cry some more.

I come home to an empty house and the tears start to pour again and again. When does time start to heal? I text my daughter and tell her how my day is going and I cry some more. I thought it helped to talk about it with loved ones or good friends. All that does is start the tears up again.

I stop by a furniture store about a problem I'm having with my new recliner and I see a Christian friend who ask me how it is going and I cry again. I man up and stop the tears but have to leave quickly before I completely break down. And I'm going back to work tonight for the first time since her death???

I lay down to get a nap before going to work, sometimes that helps me make it through the night. Guess what? Laying in OUR bed is almost more than I can bare. I jumped up and left the bedroom, tears a streaming, and now it is almost an hour later and they are still falling. When do you run out of tears?

Why did He have to take her? Didn't He know that I would be lost without her? Didn't He know that my heart would be broken? In Heaven you are happy and full of joy. How can she be looking down and seeing me in such pain and be happy?

I'm sorry. I just needed to tell someone how much I am hurting. Maybe going to work will take my mind off of her for a while.

I miss you Dale!

alight

Who was Marian Dale Davis?

Who was Marian Dale Davis? 

 She loved to sing.

 She was a great cook.

She could swim like a fish.

She was a wonderful mother.

She was the best wife a man could ask for. 

 She was a dog lover.

She loved her son-in-law.

She was an incredible runner.

She was a perfect house keeper.

She could make beautiful afghan blankets.

She loved flowers.

She loved her grandbaby.

She treasured get well cards.

She was knock down gorgeous.

She was her daughter's very best friend.

She was so funny.

She was warm and soft.

She cared for others over herself.

She was the strong one in our marriage.

She was psychic, I couldn't get away with anything.

She loved me. 

She loved her Jesus.

She was one special lady.

She will be missed by everyone. 

She will never have to suffer pain again. 

alight

 

Goodbye My Sweetheart

 

Today has been the saddest day of my life. My sweetheart of 37 plus years lost her battle with breast cancer and has gone to be with her Lord. She was in this battle for 6 1/2 years. For the last 6 months or so she was in pain. Sometimes the pain was so out of control but for the last month or so we came up with a pain medicine that really worked well. Oh, she still had her bad days but she was so tough.

Dale had told me time after time that she was ready to go to Heaven and to be with Jesus. She was told like 3 months ago that there was nothing else the doctors could do for her. They told her that she was dying and to get everything in order. Well, for the most important things she needed to get in order she already had taken care of and that is putting her trust in the saving power of Jesus Christ.

Because of her faith in Jesus I know that I feel much better about letting her go. It will be so tough but now I can look forward to seeing her again in Glory. Dale is not in pain anymore. Now she can run and run and run, which was her passion here on earth. She had won tons of road races in her running career. She was also my running partner and I will miss running with her.

She was my sweetheart, a wonderful mother, a good friend and my other half. I will not be the same but I am hoping that the difference that she made in my life will live on. I love that girl and am glad that I told her so many times. I know she loved me too.

alight 

What A Dark Night This Is

For the past several months I have watch and prayed for a miracle of God on my wife's life. Her cancer is getting the best of her now. I have brought her home to take care of her in her last days here on Earth. I have hospice coming by to check her vitals and give me pain medicine to give to her. The medicine is now working most of the time. She went through several months of suffering.

I am trying to work 2 days a week if I can get someone to come sit with her. I work 12 hour shifts so that can be difficult. I do not want to put her in a nursing home but will not hold it against anyone who does use one. Some days I feel that I just can't make it. She needs constant care and the house needs constant care and the outside needs constant care and so on.

I have put this year on hold so that I can care for my sweetheart of over 37 years. No mission trips, hardly ever get to go play golf and I don't know how long it's been when I fished last. Deer season with the bow and arrow starts this weekend but I will not be going. When you are almost 56 years old you don't want to miss out on too many years.

Dale and I had our prayer time together tonight and she sounded like she was already There and I felt a million mile away from the One I was talking to. I admitted it to the Lord and asked Him to draw me up close. We need Him now more than ever. What a dark day it is when you feel a long way away from the Lord. I am restless and uneasy. I could easily have a panic attack and start crying.

His Word says that He will never leave us or forsake us and I believe that. I trust that I will feel His closeness soon. I will wait upon the Lord.

alight

My Sweetheart

Dale was having fun the day that she took a trip on the Duck River in my kayak. She loves to exercise no matter what it is. Running, hiking, swimming or Kayaking, you name it and she is game.

She was diagnosed with breast cancer over 6 years ago. It turned out to be Metastatic Breast Cancer meaning that it would travel to other parts of her body. Well, it did and ended up in her bones, brain and liver.

The one in her liver kept growing and growing until it became the size of a tennis ball. Now it will not react to chemo treatment and so her doctor told us 3 days ago that she was dying. The awful pain she was experiencing was the cancer and she was put in the hospital to get the pain under control.

When we received this terrible news we both cried and cried. Talking about dying is the hardest thing I have ever done. She is my Sweetheart! We've been married almost 37 years. What on earth am I going to do without her? We knew that there was no cure but was hoping that one would come along or Jesus would work a miracle or He would come back and we would go together.

We had the sweetest prayer together that night after the news. Some people get angry at God for such things. Some people turn away from God when bad things happens. Not us, we draw closer to Him. He is still God and in control of our lives. I am about to lose my wife to another, Jesus. It looks like Jesus wants her to come be with Him now. I am thankful for the time we have had together and for the last days together we are making them special.

For those of you reading my blog, pray for us. Pray that Jesus will heal. Pray that He will give us strength. Pray that Dale does not suffer anymore. Pray that God will wipe away these tears and replace them with peace.

alight     

I pray for rain

I live about 65 mile west of Nashville Tennessee. It has been the strangest year so far when it comes to rain fall. We are 14 inches behind for the year and no rain in sight. Hey, I'm trying to fill up a new pond!

Well, maybe not as dry as this picture but it will be if we don't start getting more rain. Kentucky Lake is a few miles away from my home and this is the first year that I can ever remember that it had trouble coming up to summer pool. Today I checked and it was still 2 feet low.

Everyone has their gardens out except me. I believe this will be the driest year ever for this area and I know that I would have to water the garden daily so I'm not putting one out. I'm getting my pond level up will well water. My next electric bill has not come out yet and I hope that I don't have to take out a loan to pay for it.

This is the third dry year in a roll for this area. Hopefully it will be the last one for a while. I remember back in the 80s and 90s we had 3 day years in a roll with about 10 year in between. Last year it was so dry that the tree roots were damaged and the wind could get up and they would fall over. I've lost about 100 so far.

I pray for rain. I feel for the farmers who make a living growing crops. I stop and give thanks when I hear about someone getting rain in my county even though I don't get any. I heard someone say just today, "You know, I pray for rain!" and he did not come across to me as a praying man. Maybe God is trying to get our attention. Well, it is working.

alight

Dwight's Childhood Hero

Someone who had a positive impact throughout my childhood on my life was my dad. At the time of course I did not realize what an impact he was having on my life. I just thought that he was old fashion. Well, now I thank God for the impact he had on my life. Most every day I catch myself saying or at least thinking of things that came from my Dad. He is gone now and I wish that I could have let him know much more of just how important he was on how I would turn out as an adult. My dad was a good money manager. He could take $60 or less a week and raise 7 kids. Yes, that was a long time ago but still "$60"!

Dad was a good man. He loved his family and would do anything he could to help us. In fact he would help anybody if he could. I look back now and understand why I like to help others, I'm taking after my dad. 

My dad took his family to church every Sunday. We lived too far away from church to go more often than Sunday mornings. I go to the same kind of church today. My dad was a Republican and voted. Guess what? I am one of the few "confessing" Republicans where I work. We are union and it is very unpopular to be a Republican but my dad taught me to be sure what you believe in and then not to be ashamed.

(In the picture I'm the little guy with his arms around his only sister.)

Leo's son,

alight 

Turtle Shells

"Our soul waits for the Lord; He is our help and our shield.
For our heart shall rejoice in Him, because we have trusted in His holy name." Psalm 33:20-21


Today I was driving home from a morning of fishing on the Kentucky Lake when I slowed down and drove around a turtle that was trying to cross the road. He was going as fast as he could go when he saw me coming. The turtle just stopped and drew up into his shell.

Didn’t he know that my GM pickup weighs over a ton (probably close to 2 tons)? Didn’t he know that his shell would be useless against my truck and boat trailer?

It makes me think about the things that I trust in to save me in times of troubles. Like sickness, do I really trust in doctors and health insurance? Like my future retirement, do I trust in Social Security and my 401k? Like food and my other daily needs, do I only trust in my weekly paycheck?

Like the turtle I find myself trusting in things that are not very trustworthy. Doctors and insurance have let me down many times. Social Security, will it even be here when I retire, who knows. Can you trust in a paycheck? Ask the 9% plus unemployed in the United States.

Every night I cry out to God my Savior to be my shield, my protector, my provider. In my 54 years of living, God has never let me down. Sometimes He has been a little late according to my watch and calendar. The day will come when I will know the reasons why God does things the way He does and the timing was always perfect.

I will trust in the Lord with all my strength and not in the shells that this world provides.

alight

My Special Visitor

I had a special visitor at my pond the other day. It was an American bald eagle. Our running club was standing out on the road waiting for everyone to arrive and lo and behold here comes the eagle flying right over us heading up the valley I live in. When he got even with the pond I had built he suddenly turned and begin to circle it a few times.

Then to our delight the eagle landed in a tree at the back of the pond. I have a couple of geese decoys and two duck decoys sitting on the water just to decorate with. I think he may have thought that they were real or something. Anyway, I ran into the house and got my camera.

When I came out I had the camera ready and the eagle began to fly off. I was able to take a couple of pics and he was gone. He was so big! No, huge!

"Thank You Lord for letting us see one of Your most spectacular creatures."

If you are having trouble seeing him in the picture, he is on the left side of the tall tree. I promise you that the picture does not do him justice when it comes to showing how big he is. He is huge!

alight

The Rainbow

This evening God took His paintbrush and did it again. He amazed me with the most beautiful picture in the sky. As soon as I noticed it I had to say, "Praise The Lord". I was reminded of God's promise made to man that He would not destroy man again by flood.

It was a reminder that just like He kept His promise then He will keep His other promises also. It was written all over the sky this evening that God is faithful.

Although I have seen many rainbows in my life, I still have to grab my camera and take a lot of pictures. I just want to capture the beauty so I can look at it later. This one will be my desktop picture for a long time. I hope it blesses you.

alight