Anita

On my mission trip this year I got to meet Micaela and her daughter Anita who live up above town. When I say up I mean way up. Sigchos Ecuador is around 9000 feet elevation. I didn’t see a level spot anywhere. It seem that everywhere you go you have to walk up hill. Where I live in Tennessee the elevation is 500 feet so I breathed hard just walking there. One of our mission team members told me of a family that could use some food. So I got my translator and started shopping. We got a huge sack full and start that way. The food weighed 50 pounds so I got a truck to carry us up there. When we arrived Anita comes out to meet us. She has multiple sclerosis and struggles to walk. It broke my heart to watch her walk with a stick she must have found just laying around. I carried the food inside their home and her mother Micaela starts hugging me and crying. We talk a few minutes and start to leave. On the trail back to the truck with Anita following close behind I see a flower. I picked it and showed it to Anita and told her it was beautiful just like her. Needless to say I made her day. At church that afternoon our team showed the movie The Hope. It is a very good movie by the way. We got the truck again and went and picked up Anita and her mother. They sat on the front row and I could tell that they enjoyed the movie. I had to pick Anita up in my arms to put her in the truck and prayed that my back would not go out on me. Same thing when we got her home. As I watch her walking back down the path in the dim light with her stick my heart broke again and I cried all the way back to town. I must have a soft spot in my heart for girls and especially for the ones that suffer. I told my wife about her and she said I needed to get her a nice walker. So I am and will sent it with the next team going this summer. I’m hoping it will make life in Ecuador a little easier for her. alight

My new friend

This is my new friend from Ecuador. I gave her some food and she was by my side the rest of the time I was telling people about Jesus. I was focused on the scriptures I was telling the mayor of the village but I could feel her hand on my shoulder. Some of the mission team saw what was going on and took pictures. I love this picture.

One Regret

The one regret I have since Dale died is that my relationship with God has suffered. It is all my fault. I can blame no one but myself. Now I've been astray for so long that God seems a million miles away. So far away that my prayers would not reach Him at all if it were not for the fact that He is God. I regret not being close to Jesus. We were so close like friends. I was let down when He took Dale away but not forsaken, I forsook Him. He gave me strength but I refused to except it. He gave me comfort but I had rather suffer instead. He was patient with me and I turned my back on Him. Is there any coming back? I don't know. If there is then it will be a hard road to follow. Am I strong enough to make the changes? I doubt it, it would have to be with Gods help. My biggest trouble will be all the doubt I have these days. Have I gone too far? Probably not but there is doubt even in that answer. Lord help me! alight

Life Goes On

I thought that I would write an update of my life these days. Those of you who read my blogs knows about the roller coaster ride that I have been on over the last few years. Many times I have wondered just what is going to happen next. It's been 1 year, 3 months, 17 days and 3 hours since my wife of over 37 years was taken from this world by cancer. 

Well, as you can see in this photo someone has come into my life. Dana was a God sent. We first started running together and hiking trails. Next it was going on 30 mile bike rides and eating out. We have so much in common it is remarkable. We both love to travel and started going on trips together. We so enjoyed each other's company so much I asked her to marry me and 3 days later she became my wife.

With each and every passing day we become closer and closer. We do have our differences, I'm a conservative she's a liberal, I'm a Republican she's a Demacrat and we learned quickly there are some things we are better off not talking about but most of the time we think so much alike that it is scary! She is so much fun to be around. Joy has come back into my life. We are constantly planning our next adventure. She makes me want to live again.

Do I still miss my wife of 37 years... every single day. The memories I have of our life together will be in my heart forever. Realizing that she is in no more pain and in a much better place helped me to heal from a broken heart and now with Dana in my life I want to continue to live and make more joyful memories. I'm excited again about the future. Maybe the next time I post a blog it will be about a mountain we've climbed or river we've kayaked down. Maybe it will be about a 60 mile bike ride or a half marathon we ran. Maybe a mission trip to a far away country! What ever the challenge may be I know Dana will be right there by my side (or in front of me when it comes to hiking and biking). 

A big thank you to all of you who have prayed for me and continually gave me encouraging advice. It did help and I am very grateful. I hope you feel free to call on me if your life turns up side down. 

alight

Overwhelmed

There comes a time in most of our lives that we become overwhelmed because of situations going on that at the time we feel is out of our control. It happened to me a couple times while I took care of my dying wife. It is a feeling that comes over you like a huge wave. It starts to build and build until it comes crashing down upon you. I went to the home of a lady who is caregiver of her grandmother the other day. I had never been here before and wanted them to know who I am and what I could offer them as a volunteer for the hospice company I go through. She was a nice enough lady and "granny" was also. Granny was 92 and more or less stayed in bed all of the time. I told the granddaughter that what I do is stay with the patient while the caregiver has a chance to get out to pay bills, buy food or whatever. I could see in her eyes that she did not know about leaving her granny in the house with this man. The bars automatically went up and from then on it was just small talk. I knew what was going on and tried to think of a way to get through to her that I will be helpful and needed in her life. I remembered the time one evening when I was so overwhelmed with caring for my wife knowing she was dying right there before me that I really thought that I would stroke out and drop dead right there in my living room. I couldn't talk so I text a lady friend to see if she could come over for a little while. She texted back and ask when and I said NOW! The lady was walking in my door in 10 minutes. That means she dropped what she was doing and broke a few speeding laws on the way over. As she walked in I walked out, never saying a word. I went out to the lake and sat and prayed for 30 minutes until the feelings past. I began to tell the granddaughter that there will be times in caring for granny that she will become overwhelmed. That was all it took. The lights in her eyes came on and it was obvious that she had already been there. Down comes the bars and out comes the notepad and pen for me to write my cell number down. She then began to tell me how often she could use someone like me. The bible says, "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." Philippians 4:6 God is always there for us. We have His number on speed dial. We have His word that whenever we need Him He is a prayer away. On that day that I became anxious/overwhelmed about the situation and it caused me to cry out for help and on that day God sent an angel to my rescue. alight

My Days Are Numbered

The days of our years are threescore years and ten; and if by reason of strength they be fourscore years, yet is their strength labour and sorrow; for it is soon cut off, and we fly away. Psalm 90:10 (King James Version) Tomorrow I will be going to another funeral. She was a dear friend for many years to both Dale and me. Cindy and Dale came down with cancer about the same time but Cindy's was brain cancer. She had it removed once but it came back? She was 59. Dale and I have been praying for Cindy for years. We went to the same church back in the 70s and early 80s. Although we began to go to different churches we would still see each other in stores and such and kept up with each other. I work at the same company as her husband. As I read Psalm 90:10 I am reminded that our days are numbered here on this Earth. OK, lets see, I am 56 years old and three score and ten (if my calculus is right) is 70 years. Now 70 minus 56 is 14 years. Now I know we can give or take specially if we are already 70! Hmm, 14 years, I need to be busy about the Lord's business. Time seems to fly by faster the older you get. I look at it this way, there is a lot I can get done in 14 years. If I looked at it like 14 years is not very long I could get depressed and just sit back and wine. I am excited at the opportunity to serve our Lord for the rest of my life no matter how long that might be. But I am aware that every day counts and plan on making the most of them. alight

Hiking the Grand Canyon

A dream of mine for a long time has been to hike across the Grand Canyon. This year on my second try I received the permit to hike and camp in the Grand Canyon. I am a planner. Once I set my mind on doing something I start to plan and plan and plan. While I routed my way across the canyon and out to the other side I figured I might as well turn around and hike back, see it from both angles. I have bought my tent, sleeping bag, sleeping pad, backpack, boots and a few other things I will need. As of this date I have already hiked a 11 miler and a 10.5 miler with many more hiking trips planned to get me in shape. On my mission trips in Africa I have hiked from hut to hut all day long so I know that I can do this. The difference being I will be caring a 35 to 40 pound pack. I have been running for 28 years too so I will be ready. My last hike was at Montgomery Bell State Park in Burns Tennessee. The MB trail was 10.5 miles around the park. I had gone 2/3 of the way around the park when I came out into a clearing where there was 2 buildings. One was a church and the other a home. Well, they were both old and in good shape. I went into the church and noticed the floors were stone and also the walls. It was nice and cool on this warm day and so I rested there. No one else was around so I began to sing. The acoustics was so great that I though even I sounded good. For the next 30 minutes or so I had a time singing to the Lord. I call them love songs, some may call them hymns. I can't wait to hike the MB trail again so I can stop by the church for a while. Some of you may know that I have had a lot of stress and heartache lately. I didn't that day! alight

I'm Withering Away!

Well, I've lost 11 pounds. (In England if someone said he lost 11 pounds would everyone Be looking on the ground for money? I'm thinking out loud!) For the past 3 months, 1 day, 11 hours and 38 minutes I have not had an appetite. Thus the losing of weight. I could stand to lose a few pounds so health wise I am doing OK. I hardly ever eat lunch anymore and never eat out of boredom. I was reading 1 Peter chapter 2 1-3 today and it made me think of the spiritual hunger I once had for the Word of God. All the goings on of this past year has drained me of an appetite for most everything. Unfortunately my hunger for reading and studying the bible has also suffered. (I can't believe I'm telling you this! Thinking out loud again.) We are studying at church on Sunday nights about protecting ourselves from the evil one by reading the bible, spending time in prayer and trusting in the power of God. I am in good company and feel sure the hunger will return soon. I admit I am ashamed of my present situation and look forward to the day that I kiss my bible after every reading out of love for that Book. Alight

Marian "Dale" Davis

 

Today I added the 2 vases with flowers to my sweetheart's grave. I bought these 2 vases for Dale when I was in Kenya last year on a mission trip. They were handmade and I knew that she would love them. Well, she did and they were displayed in our home. Little did we know that they were to be used on her grave. I picked out pink, her favorite color, flowers for the vases. She would have loved the flowers.

As I sat back and admired the new addition, those ole tears which I had hoped had dried up begin to flow. I had not cried in 3 days. You just had to know Dale. She was so special and I miss her so much still. I had a time of prayer and let Jesus know that I can't wait til I get to come and join her in heaven.

In case you don't know, I am a runner and most everyday I look up on my runs and think of the glorious day when Jesus comes back for His church and we see Him in the clouds. I can't help but say out loud, "Come Lord Jesus". Well, these days when I look up I think of Dale looking down, keeping a watch over me like she said that she would. I realized that I had changed what I was saying when I looked up. Now I am saying, "I love you Dale and I miss you so much." 

I hope soon that I will go back to asking for Jesus' return. 

alight

I Went To Church Twice Today!!!

Today I went to church twice. You may say, "and", well, I have not done that this year. Taking care of my wife and working I was lucky to go to church twice a month. Before Dale became so sick I would go to church every chance I got. If the doors were open I would be there.

I kind of felt out of place because of not going very much lately. I know that the church is the place for me while I continue to ache and cry for my sweetheart. It was good to sing again. I sing tenor and miss the choir and all the singing we do in church. I was even asked to sing with the special music tonight because they knew that I did sing tenor. Well, one step at a time.

I tried to get into the sermons and concentrate but didn't have much luck. We had the Lord's Supper this morning and that was great as always. I love remembering Jesus and what He did on the cross for us all. We are His bride if we have put our faith in the gospel, and excepted His saving grace that He offers freely. And one glorious day He will come for His bride and we will meet Him in the air and forever be with Him.

 We will see Him then face to face, no more just remembering. We will behold His glory, the glory of the only begotten Son of God Himself. We will get to see those who have gone on before us and right now that sounds pretty good to. Come Lord Jesus!!!!

alight